


half hope half agony

by badAquatic, orphan_account



Series: Trailerstuck [60]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human/Troll Society, Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 07:31:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2100915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badAquatic/pseuds/badAquatic, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After several months of sitting on the sidelines, Terezi decides that court is back in session! </p><p>Takes place immediately after "they shoot the hoofbeasts, don't they?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	half hope half agony

**== >Terezi: Pester someone different **

 

\--gallowsCalibrator[GC] began trolling timaeusTestified[TT]!--

 

GC: W3 N33D TO T4LK

TT: How did you get this handle?

GC: TH3 COURT H4S TH31R W4YS OF OBTA1N1NG CRUC14L 1NFORM4T1ON >:]

TT: This judge does not acknowledge this foreign court’s method of evidence gathering and says they must adhere to the local system of judicial procedure.

GC: 1 N33D YOUR H3LP W1TH K4NKR1

TT: Why are you asking me? I hate Kankri.

TT: Platonically, I might add, so no shipping me with him.

GC: 1 N3V3R CONS1D3R3D YOU FOR 4 K1SM3S1STUD3 BUT NOW TH4T YOU M3NT1ON 1T HMMMM

GC: 1 COULD S33 TH4T WORK1NG OUT QU1T3 S3X1LY >:]

TT: I’m married.

GC: L1K3 TH4T M4TT3RS

TT: Why does everyone keep saying that?

GC: C4US3 OBS3RV1NG HUM4N H1STORY H4S ONLY T4UGHT M3 TH4T HUM4NS ONLY D3F1N3 M4RR14G3 WH3N YOU W4NT TO K33P 4 C3RT41N P4RTY FROM DO1NG 1T WH3TH3R 1TS YOUR HOMOS3XU4LS OR POLY4MOROUS P3OPL3

TT: I’m not debating human history with you. Why not talk to Cronus?

GC: CRONUS 1S 4T WORK 4ND NOT PHYS1C4LLY 1N TH3 P4RK

GC: 4ND YOU 4ND K4NKR1 4R3 CHUMMY L4T3LY

TT: We’re not.

GC: 4ND 1’M WORR13D 4BOUT K4NKR1 DR1NK1NG 4G41N

TT: He’s been sober for months.

GC: Y34H BUT H3’S B33N 4CT1NG R34LLY 4NX1OUS 4ND H1S T3MP3R 1S ST4RT1NG TO FL4R3 UP 4G41N

GC: TH1S MORN1NG H3 BROK3 TH3 DOOR OFF TH3 K1TCH3N C4B1N3T B3C4US3 H3 COULDNT F1ND TH3 SUG4R

GC: TH3N H3 THR3W TH3 DOOR 1T 4CROSS TH3 Y4RD SHOUT1NG 1N OLD 4LT3RN14 OR 1 TH1NK TH4TS WH4T 1T W4S

TT: Oh great. I was afraid this would happen.

GC: WH4T WOULD H4PP3N :?

TT: Kankri is half purpleblood. It was only a matter of time before his anger surfaced. I’m sure he’s explained to you how he escaped from the Brotherhood.

GC: Y3S US1NG 1MM3NS3 STR3NGTH 4ND V1OL3NC3 1N ON3 OUTBURST OF 4NG3R

TT: The Sufferer already had anger issues, couple that with the Grand Highblood’s issues and you create a troll who could take on TUFC wrestlers given training and a better temperament. But I thought Kankri was in therapy?

GC: 1 DON’T TH1NK H3S T4LK3D 4BOUT H1S 4NG3R 1SSU3S 1N TH3R4PY Y3T 1 TH1NK TH3YR3 ST1LL T4LK1NG 4BOUT TH3 S3XU4L 4BUS3S S1NC3 TH3R3S 4 LOT OF TH4T

TT: And what do you expect me to do about this? I’m not a therapist or his moirail.

GC: TH4TS TRU3 BUT 1 TH1NK K4NKR1 CONS1D3RS YOU 4 FR13ND OF SORTS H3 T4LKS TO YOU 4BOUT TH1NGS H3 WOULDNT W1TH M3

TT: I doubt he considers me a friend.

GC: H3 TRUSTS YOU 4ND J4K3 W1TH OUR K1D TH4T S4YS SOM3TH1NG 4BOUT HOW H3 F33LS TOW4RD YOU

TT: Fine. I’ll…attempt to talk with Kankri.

TT: By the way, do you have a safe place for yourself and the eggs? Things could become dangerous very soon.

GC: B3C4US3 OF JO4N?

TT: How do you know about that?

GC: 1 4LR34DY TOLD YOU TH3 COURT H4S 1TS OWN SOURC3S S3P4R4T3 FROM YOURS

GC: 4ND W3R3 NOT 1D1OTS D1RK ROS3 4ND JOHN 4R3 OUR FR13NDS W3R3 WORR13D FOR TH3M TOO

TT: Really now.

GC: 4ND W3 H4V3 4CC3SS TO 4R34S TH4T YOU C4NT G3T TO B31NG TH31R FR13NDS 4ND B31NG YOUNG3R

TT: Like where?

GC: TH3 SCHOOL FOR ON3 TH1NG WH1CH 1S 4 W3LLSPR1NG OF 1NFORM4T1ON 4ND R3SOURC3S

GC: YOU WOULDNT B3L13V3 HOW FL4MM4BL3 1T3MS 4R3 4V41L4BL3 TO US STUD3NTS 1N TH3 CH3M L4B OR 3V3N 1N TH3 M4K3UP K1TS OF TH3 TH34T3R CLOS3T 3V3N SOM3 PROPS C4N ST1LL B3 H4Z4RDOUS ONC3 YOU PUT TH3M TO GOOD US3 >:]

TT: That is a good point but I’d rather keep you kids out of the line of fire. We don’t even know if anything will happen.

GC: YOU C4NT K33P C4LL1NG US ‘K1DS’ ST1LL WH3N W3 H4V3 OUR OWN K1DS! >:[

TT: Only some of you do and it’s a term of affection. You are all still young.

GC: DO3SNT M4K3 US 4NY L3SS W1S3 >:P

TT: I honestly thought Karkat would be the first one to talk about this with me.

GC: 1’M JUST 4S GOOD! 1’M S3COND 1N COMM4ND!

TT: I’ll think about it.

GC: 4T L34ST 3V3N TH3 PL4Y1NG F13LD 4ND PROV1D3 H3R HONOR W1TH TH3 1NFORM4T1ON YOU KNOW 4BOUT >:]

TT: Like what?

GC: 1 W4NT DOCUM3NTS

TT: Documents.

GC: Y3S!

TT: What makes you think I have documents?

GC: MY NOS3 D3T3CTS YOU H4V3 4N UNUSU4L KNOWL3DG3 B4S3 R3G4RD1NG TH3 3LUS1V3 CH3RUBS 1 SCOUR3D H1GH 4ND LOW TO UNCOV3R TH31R S3CR3TS BUT SO F4R 1 COULD ONLY F1ND RUMORS 4ND CONJ3CTUR3 N31TH3R 4R3 H3LPFUL TO OUR C4S3

GC: HOW3V3R YOU H4V3 QU3ST1ON4BL3 R3SOURC3S TH4T 1 D3M4ND YOU SH4R3 1F YOU W1SH TO B3 P4RT OF TH1S 4LL14NC3! >:]

TT: This isn’t candy or chalk we’re talking about, Terezi. This is personal information that could get you killed if certain people don’t want you having it.

GC: H3R HONOR H4S NO F34R OF D34TH WH1L3 SH3 S3RV3S JUST1C3

TT: This isn’t a game.

GC: WHO S4YS 1T 1S?

GC: D1RK W3 BOTH KNOW TH4T 1F TH3 CH3RUBS 4TT4CK TH31R GO4L W1LL B3 TO K1LL US TH3YLL GUT US 4ND BURN TH3 R3M41NS OR TH3YLL LO4D US ONTO TRUCKS SO W3LL D1S4PP34R FOR3V3R

GC: OUR H4NDS 4ND F33T W1LL W4SH UP ON SOM3 D3SOL4T3 SHOR3 4ND TH4TLL B3 TH3 3V1D3NC3 TH4T W3 3V3R 3X1ST3D 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3

TT: That’s an urban legend.

GC: DO YOU DOUBT 1T C4N H4PP3N?  PL4C3 YOUR H4ND ON TH3 TOM3 4ND ONLY SP34K TH3 TRUTH TO TH3 COURT!

TT: I speak no truth because that’s unknown. I only know the facts.

GC: 4S DO 1

GC: P3OPL3 TH4T D3FY TH3 G4NGS H4V3 UNH4PPY 3ND1NGS UNL3SS TH3Y PULL TOG3TH3R

GC: SO 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO L3T M3 H3LP OR W1LL YOU B3 TH3 W34K L1NK?

TT: I’ll think about it. I’m not saying ‘no’ but I need to think about it.

GC: F11111N3

GC: TH3 COURT 4DJOURNS FOR R3C3SS! >:]

 

\--timaeusTestified[TT] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC!]--

 

You may be blind but you’re the most perceptive. The neighborhood air is tainted with fear, underscored with panic. The Cherubs want people to panic. They want hysteria so you’ll turn on each other and sell each other out. You’ve stayed outwardly calm for Kankri’s sake but now fear is starting to nag at you.

The situation is deteriorating and you know something is coming. A cascade of events will take place, edging the chaos forth and spilling out into your neighborhood. You just hope you will all survive it.

 

\--gallowsCalibrator[GC] began trolling caligulasAquarium[CA]!--

 

GC: D1D YOU F1ND 1T Y3T?

CA: you knoww its gettin annoyin wwith you callin me evvery couple of hours about this

GC: YOUR3 TH3 ON3 WHO OFF3R3D TO DO TH1S

CA: there is sooooooo much crap here im only halfwway through it

GC: 1TS NOT CR4P!! 1TS MY GR4NDMOTH3RS TH1NGS 4ND 1’M LOOK1NG FOR 4 SP3C1F1C 1T3M! >:[

CA: you should be the one over here lookin through all this stuff not me

GC: 1 R3FUS3 TO L34V3 MY 3GGS 4LON3! >:[

CA: jegus calm dowwn mama bear

CA: wwhat does this thing evven look like again?

GC: 1T WOULD B3 1N 4 LONG BL4CK BOX W1TH OLD 4LT3RN14N 3NGR4V3D ON 1T 4ND WH4TS 1NS1D3 WOULD B3 WR4PP3D 1N T34L COLOR3D V3LV3T OR 1TD B3 D4RK T34L

CA: wwhy dark teal

GC: 1TS WH1T3 V3LV3T ST41N3D W1TH MY GR4NDMOTH3RS BLOOD

CA: okay then im not evven gonna question wwhats in the box

CA: god i should just bring you this other stuff like all these freakin albums evven though you cant see them

GC: 1 C4N S33 TH3M! 4ND OF COURS3 1 W4NT TH3 4LBUMS TOO

GC: 1 W4NT 4LL MY GR4NDMOTH3RS TH1NGS

CA: i dunno wwhy you wwant them now

GC: 1 DONT KNOW TH3 3X4CT R34SON WHY 1 JUST TH1NK 1 N33D TH3M NOW

GC: SOM3T1M3S 1 F33L MY GR4NDMOTH3RS SP1R1T GU1D1NG M3 L1K3 SH3 HOW SH3 T4UGHT M3 TH3 W4YS OF TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS OF OLD 4LT3RN14 SO 1 COULD L34RN TO US3 MY S3NS3S WH3N 1 W4S BL1ND3D

GC: SH3 T4UGHT M3 TH1NGS TH4T THOS3 OF CLON3D L1N34G3S COULD N3V3R L34RN

CA: oh god are you gonna start ramblin about the past in a wway no one understands like kar does  

GC: 1M ONLY R3P34T1NG WH4T 1 KNOW F1SHBO1 YOU US3D TO OBS3SS3D W1TH L1N34G3

CA: yeah but i dont care about it anymore other shit is more important like providing for my kid

CA: i thought you didnt givve a shit about this stuff

GC: 1 D1DNT UNT1L 4R4N34 4ND 1 W3R3 T4LK1NG ON3 D4Y 4BOUT MY GR4NDMOTH3R 4ND TR4D1T1ON4L TROLL 1NH3R1T4NC3

CA: oh gods that mustvve been a long convversation

GC: Y3S BUT V3RY 3NL1GHT3N1NG >:]

GC: 4R4N34 1S R34D1NG UP 4BOUT OUR 4NC3STORS 4ND HOW TH3Y L1V3D

GC: ON 4NC13NT 4LT3RN14 TROLLS TR4C3D TH3 FOOTST3PS OF TH31R 4NC3STORS 3V3N THOUGH TH3Y N3V3R KN3W TH3M

GC: 4ND 4LONG TH31R P3RSON4L JOURN3YS TH3Y WOULD D1SCOV3R TH31R B3LONG1NGS B3C4US3 TH3Y H4D B33N H4TCH3D TO F1ND TH3M 4ND F1N1SH TH31R WORKS

GC: 1 N3V3R CONS1D3R3D TH3 1MPL1C4T1ONS OF 1T UNT1L R3C3NTLY

CA: not until karkat molted into jegus sufferkat the wweird

GC: H3S NOT *TH4T* W31RD

GC: MOR3 L1K3 4 L1TTL3 W31RD3R BUT H3S ST1LL K4RK4T

CA: i dont like it

CA: aside from lookin different his personality is different

GC: OH PL34S3 H3S ST1LL TH3 S4M3 ROMCOMS LOV1NG DORK H3S JUST B1GG3R 4ND MOR3 MUSCUL4R

CA: i dunno rezi it just feels wweird talking to him sometimes like listenin to him makes me think karkat molted into somethin that wwas half karkat and half signless and i just dont trust it

CA: and now youre acting wweird too wwhat if you molt and you turn into redglarezi?

CA: is evveryones molt gonna be them assimilating their ancestors? i dont wwanna turn into my grandfather

CA: wwhat if sol turns into his grandfather fuck that wwould suck he wwas a humorless dick

GC: 4CCORD1NG TO MY GR4NDMOTH3R GR4NDP4 PS1ON1C W4S ONLY 4 HUMORL3SS D1CK L4T3R ON 1N L1F3

GC: WH3N H3 W4S YOUNG H3 W4S 4 LOT MOR3 L1K3 D4D

CA: thats evven fuckin wworse its bad enough mituna hits on me cause he thinks im cronus

GC: 4ND 3R1D4N W3R3 Y34RS 4W4Y FROM MOLT1NG K4RK4T 1S 4 UN1QU3 S1TU4T1ON

GC: K4R4KTS F4TH3R 4ND GR4NDF4TH3R 4R3 TH3 S4M3 P3RSON 4ND 1T W4S MOST L1K3LY TH3 DOUBL3 G3N3T1CS TH4T C4US3D TH3 H1CCUP 1N TH3 W4Y H3 LOOKS

CA: if you say so im goin back to searchin

GC: 4LR1GHT

 

\--caligulasAquarium[CA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

You are so bored now. You don’t have much to do but tend to your eggs and trudge through online classes. _Wild Swans Lusii_ has become the tedious bane of your existence. Why is human society always so complicated? Why are you even learning about Shongolians? Its not like you plan on going to such a backwards country. You gave up reading the books and just started reading the synopsis notes assembled by Karkat, Rose, and Kanaya.

You spend most of your time with your eggs, lovingly turning them over in their nest and making sure they’re cared for. They won’t hatch until January but you’re still anxious about what they’ll look like. Aradia is already fretting knowing Themma will hatch next month.

While cuddling your eggs, you get another message.

 

\--arachnidsGrip[AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

AG: Tereeeeziiii

AG: I’m 8ored.

 

 

AG: So super 8ored that on a scale of 8oredom from one to ten I would register 8teen. What are you doing and please make it something interesting outside of 8eing a mother lusus to your spawnlings.

GC: 1 F1ND MY SP4WNL1NGS TO B3 SUP3R CUT3 4ND 1 DONT L1K3 1GNOR1NG TH3M L1K3 YOU >:P

AG: Arthat’s well cared for!

GC: BY 4 T1NY BUG 1 COULD PUNT TH4T TH1NG 4CROSS TH3 ROOM

AG: And he would give you a poisonous 8ite and sting that would leave you paralyzed for 12 hours. Its not my fault I value my independence. I’m a troll, not a fucking Mother Gru8!

GC: MOTH3R GRUBS DONT 3V3N 3X1ST 4NYMOR3 TH3R3S NOTH1NG WRONG W1TH P4Y1NG 4TT3NT1ON TO YOUR K1D

AG: It’s a damn EGG!!!! Its not going to cry and feel sad 8ecause I’m not snuggling it

GC: C4N TOO 1TS B33N PROV3N TH4T 3GGS R34CT TO TH31R 3NV1RONM3NT 4ND M4T3RN4L W4RMTH 4ND LUSUS W4RMTH H4V3 D1FF3R3NT 4FF3CTS TH3 S4M3 TH1NG W1TH SOUND 1 B3T YOU JUST L3T TH3 LUSUS W4TCH 1T 4ND L34V3 TH3 TV ON WHO KNOWS WH4T H3 COULD B3 L1ST3N1NG TO YOUR3 PROB4BLY R41S1NG 4 S3R14L K1LL3R

AG: Oh please. There’s no conclusive evidence to imply that it makes a huge difference in the long run. Lusus or no lusus my kid will 8e perfect. She’ll pro8a8ly not 8e a dependent cry8a8y like you’re raising yours to 8e.

GC: YOU W3R3 R41S3D BY YOUR P4R3NTS!

AG: Give me a 8r8k! Kanaya and I were 8oth latchkey kids. Mom A was always working or at a meeting and Mom P worked overtime. Kanaya learned to cook 8ecause we didn’t have anyone else at home 8y the time we came home from school.

AG: So *fuck* that nuclear family Fifth Age 8ullshit. Snippy can pay attention to Arthat all the time since he doesn’t have a jo8. Everyone else in the Squalor lets lusus raise their kids so why not follow suit? I live here now. May as well 8lend in.

GC: 1 TH1NK YOU’R3 BL3ND3D 1N TOO MUCH

AG: What’s that supposed to mean?

GC: YOU SHOULDNT FORG3T WHO YOU 4R3

AG: What is this? An afterschool special?

GC: NO BUT YOU SHOULD US3 YOUR BR41N FOR ONC3 4ND NOT H4NG OUT W1TH TH4T COLOSS4L DOUCH3B4G N3KT4N 1 M3T H1M ONC3 4ND TH3 SM3LL OF 4X3 BODYSPR4Y 4ND DOUCH3B4G PUNCH3D M3 1N TH3 NOS3

AG: You’re just jealous 8ecause he finds me sexy and he’s rich and adora8le. You’re mad that we got to go on a yacht and you’re stuck in the mud and trash with Kankri. >::::)

GC: 1M NOT GO1NG TO L13 4ND S4Y 1M NOT J34LOUS 4BOUT GO1NG ON 4 Y4CHT 4ND TO F4NCY CLUBS BUT W4NT1NG 4ND N33D1NG 4R3 TWO D1FF3R3NT TH1NGS

GC: BUT YOU DONT TH1NK H3S 4DOR4BL3

AG: Do too!

GC: YOU H4T3 S34TROLLS

GC: YOU COULDNT 3V3N K1SS 3R1D4N DUR1NG 4 G4M3 OF SP1N TH3 BOTTL3 1N 31GHTH GR4D3

AG: That’s 8ecause Eridan is gross!!!!

GC: YOU TH1NK G1LLS 4R3 W31RD

AG: They’re a little weird 8ut it doesn’t matter.

GC: HOW MUCH

AG: How much what?

GC: 1S H3 P4Y1NG YOU TO SL33P W1TH H1M

AG: I’m not sleeping with him!

GC: L1K3 H3LL YOU’R3 NOT TH3 WR1T1NG 1S ON TH3 W4LL

GC: 3V1D3NC3 ON3: YOUR3 NOT 3MPLOY3D 4ND TH3 PROGR4M YOUR3 UND3R ONLY P4YS FOR 4 C3RT41N 4MOUNT OF R3NT YOU H4V3 TO B3 DO1NG SOM3TH1NG ON TH3 S1D3

AG: Casino winnings. Doi.

GC: YOU COULDNT POSS1BLY 34RN 3NOUGH MON3Y TO P4Y FOR R3NT DO1NG TH4T 1T WOULD B3 TOO SUSP1C1OUS YOU MUST B3 PUTT1NG 1T 1NTO SOM3TH1NG TH4T WOULDNT H4V3 4 P4P3R TR41L L1K3 FOOD OR CLOTH3S OR SOM3TH1NG QU3ST1ON4BL3

GC: 3V1D3NC3 TWO: N3KT4N 1S 4 W3LL KNOWN PURV3YOR OF WHOR3S H3 H4D S3X W1TH 3R1D4N UND3R TH3 S4M3 T3RMS 4ND S33MS TO H4V3 4 TH1NG FOR COLDBLOODS

AG: Or Eridan was just 8eing his usual desperate self.

GC: 3V1D3NC3 THR33: YOUR R34SON FOR K33P1NG H1M 4ROUND 4ND NOT L3TT1NG K4RK4T MOV3 1N YOU DONT W4NT K4RK4T TO KNOW WH4TS GO1NG ON OR FOR H1M TO F1ND OUT WH4T3V3R SC4M YOUR3 PULL1NG ON N3KT4N

AG: I’m not scamming him.

GC: YOUR3 DO1NG SOM3TH1NG 4ND 1T SUR3 4S H3LL 1SNT HON3ST

AG: Are you calling me a liar?

GC: 1’M NOT C4LL1NG YOU 4 TRUTH3R >:]

AG: Even if I *was* doing something with Nektan Whelan that doesn’t guarantee I would tell you. And even if I *was*, what concern of it is of yours? I’m an adult. I can run my own 8usiness just fine.

GC: ON3: YOU 4R3 NOT 4 L3G4L 4DULT Y3T 4ND TWO: NO YOU C4NT

GC: YOU RUN YOUR L1TTL3 SCH3M3S 4ND PUT YOUR 1RONS 1N TH3 F1R3 UNT1L TH3R3S TOO MUCH 1RON 4ND TH3N TH3 F1R3 GROWS TOO B1G 4ND B3FOR3 YOU KNOW 1T YOUR HOUS3 1S ON F1R3 4ND TH3R3S 1RON SL4G 3V3RYWH3R3 4ND YOUR3 COV3R3D 1N BURNS

AG: The fuck are you talking a8out?

GC: 1 DONT KNOW 1 W4S GO1NG FOR 4 M3T4PHOR 4ND 1T K1ND OF F3LL 4P4RT BUT MY PO1NT 1S TH4T YOUR SCH3M3S 4LW4YS BLOW UP 1N YOUR F4C3

AG: Hmmmph! We’ll see who has the last laugh, Pyrope! I’m gonna be rich as a 8lack carapace while you’re stuck in the mud feeding five gru8s with fucking Kankri!  

 

\--arachnidsGrip[AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

That can’t be good. When Vriska gets hissy and vague, that means she’s already doing something stupid. Shit will hit the fan sooner or later so all you can do is bunker down and prepare. Hopefully its not too damaging. You hate Vriska but you don’t want to see her hurt. You still haven’t told her how you feel. So many other things have been going on lately that you haven’t had the time. You decide to pick up those feelings and push them aside. You’ll deal with that bridge when you come to it.

You eat lunch and watch TV because that’s basically all you do nowadays. The kitchen cabinet is still broken. Kankri left for work so you expect he’s going to apologize profusely about what happened when he comes home with a new door.

 

\--gallowsCalibrator[GC] began trolling twinArmageddons[TA]!--

 

GC: SOLLUX 1 4M BOR3D 3NT3RT41N YOUR B1G S1ST3R

TA: wiith what exactly? and you know ii’m at 2chool riight now.

GC: 1 H4V3 M3MOR1Z3D YOUR SCH3DUL3 4ND YOU DONT H4V3 CL4SS R1GHT NOW YOU TOOL

TA: ii could 2tiill be 2tudyiing.

GC: YOUR3 PROB4BLY PL4Y1NG P1R4T3D G4M3S ON YOUR 1HUSK WH1CH 1SNT SUPPOS3D TO B3 ON SCHOOL GROUNDS >:]

TA: the 2chool admiinii2trator2 wiill take my iihu2k from me when they pry iit out of my cold dead hand2. 2o what’2 up? 2tiill protectiing your egg2 from the danger of the out2iide world?

GC: 1 L34V3 TH3M 4LON3 ONC3 1N 4 WH1L3 BUT TH3N 1 G3T 4NX1OUS 4ND 1MM3D14T3LY GO B4CK TO HUGG1NG TH3M B3C4US3 1 DONT W4NT TH3M TO G3T HURT B3C4US3 1 W4SNT P4Y1NG 4TT3NT1ON

TA: nepeta ii2 doiing the 2ame thiing. 2he biite2 and 2cratche2 gamzee whenever he get2 two clo2e. he look2 liike a 2cratchiing po2t. iit2 hiilariiou2.

GC: 1 D3M4ND P1CTUR3S!

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] sent clownscratchingpost.jpg!--

 

GC: OH GODS H3 *DO3S* LOOK L1Ke 4 SCR4TCH1NG POST

TA: accordiing two tavro2 he got ‘way two clo2e two her per2onal 2pace and 2he attacked hiim liike a cat forced two be around water’.

GC: KURLOZ MUST LOOK WORS3

TA: kurloz ii2 2tayiing out of mama nepeta’2 per2onal protectiive 2pace becau2e 2he ii2 half hiighblood and 2cary when angry. nepeta’2 protectiive 2pace happen2 two gamzee’2 though 2o now he 2tay2 wiith tavro2 and that ju2t pii22e2 rufiioh off iin 2o many way2. they’re tryiing two learn two liive wiith each other.

GC: HOWS TH4T GO1NG?

TA: tavro2 2aiid they were bondiing over pot but now they’re doiing que2tiionable thiing2 at three iin the morniing. liike thii2 morniing he woke up two fiind gamzee 2tuck 2leepiing on the roof and rufiioh weariing a maiid’2 uniiform and porriim wa2 bakiing cake becau2e 2he got a contact hiigh. tavro2 2ay2 he ha2 no iidea where the maiid uniiform came from.

GC: WH4T 1N TH3 4CTU4L H3LL

TA: ii thiink porriim had 2omethiing two do wiith the maiid outfiit but no one can fiigure out why gamzee cliimb2 on thiing2 whenever he’2 hiigh.

GC: M4YB3 1TS 4 PSYCHOLOG1C4L TH1NG? 1N 4N1L1N3 3ND 1TS S4F3R TO B3 H1GH UP

GC: 4ND HOWS TH3 PL4N GO1NG?

TA: you 2hould talk two kk about thii2 two. hold on.

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] invited carcinoGeneticist[CG] to the chat!--

 

CG: WHAT IS IT YOU, LISPING FUCK?

TA: tz want2 two talk about our plan2.

CG: YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE WE’RE PLANNING A ROBBERY.

GC: W3 COULD 1F W3 PUT OUR M1ND TO 1T >:]

CG: LIKE WE WOULD KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THAT MONEY.

TA: ii could thiink of 2ome good u2e2.

CG: WE WOULD NOT SPEND ALL OUR HEIST MONEY ON JEWELRY FOR YOUR FISHES, MOUNTAIN DEW, AND VIDEOGAMES.

TA: ii wa2n’t goiing two 2pend *all* of iit on that.

GC: K4RK4T DO H4V3 4 S4F3 HOUS3 Y3T?

CG: WE HAVE A FEW CANDIDATES. WE KNOW THAT THE DANGER ZONES ARE OUR FOUR BLOCKS ALONG KAIBA STREET, FORDHAM ROAD, SHAKER HILL ROAD, AND NEIRO STREET. IN ORDER TO KEEP PEOPLE OUT OF THE DANGER ZONE, WE NEED TO FIND A QUICK ROUTE IN AND OUT OF THOSE AREAS WITHOUT ATTRACTING ATTENTION. TO PREVENT QUICK INFILTRATION, WE NEED TO BLOCK OFF THE AREA OF MEYER ROAD, KAIBA STREET, PARK AVENUE, AND ANDERSON ROAD.

CG: THE BIGGEST ISSUE IS NEIRO STREET WHICH IS AN OUTLIER AND THE MOST LIKELY POINT OF ATTACK. THE OTHER ISSUE IS OUR NEIGHBORS WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHATS GOING ON.

GC: TH3Y MUST H4V3 SOM3 CLU3 SOM3TH1NG 1S GO1NG DOWN TH3YR3 B31NG QU13T3R TH4N USU4L OR 4T L34ST L3SS OBNOX1OUS

TA: what about meenah’2 traiiler? iit2 iin a 2wampy ii2olated area that only local2 know about becau2e there’2 no 2iign. you can walk there.

GC: 1TS K1ND OF 4 LONG W4LK THOUGH 4ND C4N B3 TR34CH3ROUS 1F 1TS R41N1NG

GC: 1 C4N 4SK D1RK 1F H3 KNOWS 4BOUT S4F3 HOUS3S 4ND PR3F3RR3D LOC4T1ONS THOUGH

CG: WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO HIM? I’M THE LEADER.

GC: YOUR3 *4* L34D3R NOT *TH3* L34D3R PLUS 1M B3TT3R 4T N3GOT14T1ONS TH4N YOU 4R3

CG: LIKE HELL YOU ARE. I’M A HATCHED NEGOTIATOR.

GC: NO YOUR3 NOT YOUR3 GOOD W1TH CORR4LL1NG P3OPL3 4ND G3TT1NG TH3M TO 4CH13V3 4 C3RT41N GO4L BUT TH4T DO3SNT M34N TH3R3S NOT GO1NG TO B3 4 LOT OF B1CK3R1NG 4ND 1NJUR13S 4LONG TH3 W4Y 1M B3TT3R 4T M4K1NG SUR3 W3 4TT41N 4LL13S 1TS 1N MY BLOOD

TA: techniically iin my blood two.

GC: YOUR3 4 Y3LLOWBLOOD 1TS 1N YOUR BLOOD TO 34T DOR1TOS CHUG MOUNT41N D3W 4ND PL4Y V1D3OG4M3S WH1L3 PR3T3ND1NG TO B3 4 “L33T H4XXOR”

TA: that ii2 2uch a 2tereotype. ii 2hould report you two your 2ociial ju2tiice mate2priit about you hurtiing my feeliing2.

GC: YOU DO TH4T 4ND 1LL T3LL 3R1D4N WH4T *R34LLY* H4PP3N3D TO H1S COPY OF TROLL H4RRY POTT3R

CG: WHAT REALLY HAPPENED?

TA: nothiing happened. and thii2 whole 2iituatiion would be ea2iier iif we knew the when or where the cherub2 are mo2t liikely two attack. then we can 2end people away before thiing2 turn bad.

CG: I’VE ASKED MEENAH TO DO DAILY SNOOPING AT NEKTAN’S OFFICE DOWN AT HAPPY HARBORS TO SEE IF THAT TURNS UP ANY CLUES ABOUT HIS MOVEMENTS SINCE HE DEALS WITH THE GANGS BUT HIS OFFICE IS OFTEN LOCKED. SHE CAN’T GET INTO IT WITHOUT ATTRACTING ATTENTION. MY FRIENDS ARE ALSO KEEPING THEIR EAR TO THE GROUND ABOUT ANY CHERUB OR BROTHERHOOD ACTIVITY SINCE THEY'RE ALLIES.

GC: WH4T FR13NDS?

CG: WORK FRIENDS. THEY LIVE IN THE SQUALOR SO THEY’RE AT THE HEART OF THINGS WITH THE GANGS.

TA: what do we have two defend our2elve2? ii have p2iioniic2 and kiitchen kniive2 and 2hiit but not much el2e.

CG: I’M SURE BETWEEN JADE AND JAKE THEY HAVE ENOUGH GUNS FOR A SMALL MILITIA BUT WE CAN’T RELY ON FIREARMS. THEY’RE NOT GOOD FOR STEALTH AND WE NEED THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. THAT MEANS MELEE WEAPONS, PROJECTILES, AND HOMEMADE EXPLOSIVES. AFTER WORK AND SCHOOL I’LL SEND EVERYONE A PDF OF HOW TO CRAFT WEAPONS IN THEIR OWN HOME.

GC: WH3R3 D1D YOU G3T TH4T FROM? YOUR “FR13NDS”?

CG: NO, FROM THE INTERNET AND DIRK.

TA: we 2hould defiiniitely corroborate wiith blondie.

GC: H3Y HOW’S J4D3 DO1NG?

CG: WELL SHE’S A LOT HAPPIER SINCE THE FUNERAL BUT I THINK SOMETHING ELSE IS BOTHERING HER. SHE’S NOT TALKING TO DAVE OR ME ABOUT IT BUT WE'RE MAKING EDUCATED GUESSES.

TA: what do you think iit2 about?

CG: WELL DAVE AND ME REALIZED THAT ALL HER FRIENDS SHOWED UP AT THE FUNERAL EXCEPT FOR ONE. WE THINK THERE MIGHT BE A REASON FOR THAT BUT WE'RE NOT SURE. JADE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT YET.

GC: TH4T 1S STR4NG3

CG: I THINK WE'LL GET THE FULL STORY WHEN JADE FEELS COMFORTABLE TALKING ABOUT IT.

TA: 2hiit we have two head two cla22.

CG: WE’LL TALK LATER, TEREZI.

GC: 4LR1GHT

 

\--twinArmageddons[TA] and carcinoGeneticist[CG] have left the chat!--

 

In the late afternoon, you work on homework on the back porch. Your neighbor in back of you always comes out at the same time you do. They’re a muscular man, appear to live alone, and are constantly wearing a ratty housecoat. They don’t have a garden or even attempt to maintain their trailer. They just sit on the back porch and drink beer whenever someone is outside. Do they expect you to talk to them? Or _flirt_ with them? Gods, you hope not. You have a matesprit and _standards_. You sit outside with your eggs and ignore them.

You go back inside once the sun sets and so does the neighbor. You anxiously wait for Kankri to come home but soon its five thirty and he hasn’t shown up. You stay calm and make dinner, waiting for him.

Kankri doesn’t come through the door until six. He has a black eye and his eyes are dark orange-red from crying but you smell less anxiety on him. He sees you and immediately hugs you.

“I’m sorry for earlier,” he says, “but I feel better now. I guess I just needed some downtime today.”

You stroke his face. “Kankri, if you need to take time for yourself to calm down, you can do that and I won’t mind. I just want you to be mentally well.”

“Sometimes its hard to believe you put up with me. I-I’m so needy sometimes…”

“Kankri, you’re not needy. Its alright to have time for yourself. I’m not a stuffy old man who doesn’t understand that.”

Even after this time Kankri still doesn’t trust positive emotions or that you’re not going to abandoned him, but you did expect this knowing how he was treated for most of his life. You’re slowly making progress with him though. He doesn’t break down in nervous tears. You eat dinner and cuddle on the couch. He falls asleep holding onto your lap, like he’s afraid you’re going to disappear.

You also get a whiff of him and you’re glad he doesn’t smell like alcohol. While holding your matesprit, you get a message.

 

\--timaeusTestified[TT] began trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

TT: Kankri and I spoke.

GC: 1 NOT1C3D H3 S33MS MOR3 ST4BL3 TH4N H3 D1D 34RL13R SO TH4NK YOU D1RK 1 W4S R34LLY WORR13D

TT: I think that tea he drinks is affecting him. Psionic depressants help trolls who suffer from psionic headaches but in Kankri who knows what reaction that may have. His psionics are not particularly strong. They’re just intrusive and disturbing.

GC: W3LL H3 R3FUS3S TO G3T OFF OF TH3M BUT 1 DONT W4NT H1M TO ST4RT W4K1NG FROM N1GHTM4R3S 31TH3R

TT: Maybe he needs nightmares though. No one likes bad dreams but sometimes you need them as a way to wean off anxieties. He’s been on that tea for way too long and who knows what reactions he could be having. He needs to detox.

GC: 1 DON’T TH1NK 1T’S 4 GOOD 1D34 BUT 1’LL 4SK H1M

GC: H4V3 YOU CONS1D3R3D YOUR PROPOS4L 4BOUT 4LLOW1NG M3 TO LOOK 4T SOM3 OF THOS3 DOCUM3NTS YOU OWN >:]

TT: I have considered it but I don’t know what you expect me to have.

GC: 1 3XP3CT YOU TO H4V3 4 B3TT3R 1D34 OF WH4T W3R3 D34L1NG W1TH

TT: You seem to assume a lot about me.

GC: YOUR3 TH3 K1ND OF P3RSON TO N3V3R TO GO 1NTO 4 G4M3 UNL3SS YOU KNOW TH3 ST4K3S 4ND LOOPHOL3S

GC: W3R3 BOTH 4L1K3 D1RK W3 4R3 BOTH PURV3YORS OF JUST1C3 4ND JUST1C3 MOV3S THROUGH US L1K3 4 R1V3R

TT: Your poetry needs work but I get your point, and justice doesn’t motivate either of us. I am motivated by anger and you are motivated by red love and protective maternal instinct.

GC: Y3S BUT 1T SOUNDS SO MUCH COOL3R WH3N YOU S4Y *JUST1C3* >:]

TT: I don’t like the idea of pretending this isn’t anything else but a grudge match.

GC: 3NOUGH T4LK!! T3LL M3 WH4T YOU KNOW 4ND W3 C4N COLL4BOR4T3 >:]

TT: We both know the Cherubs are dangerous but there’s very little officially on the record about them. Most of it tends to be hushed up or mysteriously disappear, evidence included. The Brotherhood is well known because they have a community presence in Nehetaly and the purpleblood community here. The Cherubs seem to have no communal ties. They’re an internal gang with international routes. Supposedly founded by a man from Young Britain, using Germanium orphans to exact crimes and take up position all over the globe, pledging loyalty with the seriousness of a Neo Japanese crime syndicate. Part of the reason they are so large is because it is hard to pinpoint them.

GC: TH3Y H4V3 LOOS3 CONF3D3R4T1ONS 3V3RYWH3R3 SO OUR N31GHBORS COULD B3 CH3RUBS 4ND W3 COULD NOT KNOW 1T

GC: OR TH3Y COULD B3 4 BR4NCH OF TH3 CH3RUBS 4S 4 STR33T OR PR1SON G4NG

TT: Yes. As such, there are only two official reports regarding the Cherubs. The only reason they are still around is because the situation was well publicized before being hushed up. They are cold cases that only have vague links to the Cherubs.

GC: SO TH3Y COULD 4LSO NOT B3 L1NK3D TO TH3 CH3RUBS

TT: Exactly.

GC: SO WH4TS TH3 N4M3 OF TH3M?

TT: The Green Girl Report and the Leland’s Pass Report.

GC: W41T 1V3 H34RD OF TH4T F1RST ON3

TT: The Green Girl is a common urban legend by now. Most of the facts get so distorted in the repetition that it bears little resemblance to what actually happened.

GC: TH4TS TH3 ON3 WH3R3 TH3 RUSTBLOOD 1N GR33N W4S FOUND 1N 4 D1TCH 1N YOUNG BR1T41N 4ND TH3Y N3V3R FOUND H3R K1LL3R

TT: Yes, and they could not locate her killer.

TT: What you may not know is that thirteen years after her finding, a rustblood in Raffil came forward. She stated she was the girl’s mother and her daughter won a folklore scholarship and was sent abroad to Young Britain. The mother and daughter exchanged letters, which were censored concerning location, times, and dates. The last letter mentioned that she would introduce her mother to a ‘friend’, implied to be a matesprit. After this, there were no more letters. According to the mother’s testimony, her daughter was found dead a week later. After the mother gave her testimony to the police, she was found hung in her apartment.

GC: SO SOM3ON3 MUST’V3 B33N W4TCH1NG H3R

GC: WH4T 4BOUT TH3 1D3NT1TY OF TH1S ‘FR13ND’?

TT: We have no idea but they were most likely a Cherub. There was another feature of the case that was concealed from the public, namely the graffiti.

GC: GR4FF1T1?

TT: Yes. The victim was abandoned in a drainage ditch in an industrial zone. There was a warehouse nearby. Someone, perhaps the killer, had written on it in green paint. It was in Germanium, translated as “Help! The monster inside me is going to explode!”. Photos of the writing were taken and samples of the paint were scraped off for lab analysis but the physical graffiti was erased by the time the news media arrived.

GC: WHY CONC34L TH4T FROM TH3 PUBL1C?

TT: I have no concrete idea as to the why but I have theories. One theory is that there had already been tension between the Germanium immigrant population and the Young British citizenry. I think the police wanted to avoid inciting more anti-immigrant violence and hate crimes. That is only speculation though. There could have been other reasons.

GC: 4NY CLU3S 4BOUT TH3 WR1T3R OF TH3 GR4FF1T1?

TT: No clues were offered from lab analysis aside from the markings being made with face paint and judging by the smudging that it had been written by hand.

GC: 1NT3R3ST1NG

GC: 4ND WH4T 4BOUT TH3 L3L4NDS P4SS R3PORT?

TT: I’m sure you’ve heard about the urban legend concerning mysterious feet and shoes washing up on shore.

GC: W3LL Y34H ON B34CH3S BUT 1T 4LW4YS V4R13S ON TH3 3X4CT LOC4T1ON OF WH3R3 1T COM3S FROM

TT: This is the origin of that urban legend.

TT: 26 years ago, a shoe washed up on the shore of a river in Quebecia. The river had no official name but it was near a bridge called Leland’s Pass. It was found by locals who fished in the river. Inside the shoe was a severed foot. Although genetic testing was done, nothing could be uncovered about the identity of the possessor.

TT: Over the next week, more severed parts appeared on the shore. Not just feet but hands, fingers, toes, and ears. All the limbs were tested but none of them showed up on the official roster, meaning these were all most likely the parts of illegal immigrants and other ‘off the grid’ types. There was also no pattern to those killed. The limbs belonged to various trolls, carapaces, humans, crocodiles, iguanas, and salamanders.

GC: SO TH3 ONLY CONN3CT1ON W4S TH4T TH3Y W3R3 4LL UNR3G1ST3R3D

TT: They couldn’t trace the source of the limbs either. There were no buildings upstream or downstream along the river. The economic collapse had bankrupted most businesses so the nearby industrial park was empty save for a few storage facilities.

GC: BUT SOM3TH1NG 3LS3 H4PP3N3D

TT: The next week, a teen human girl appeared on the bridge of Leland’s Pass. She was naked and streaked with green paint and talking in an unknown language. She was also carrying a handgun. The police were called in to try and calm the girl, but she shot herself in the head and died. Late DNA testing provided that the girl had an unknown toxin in her system. She could not be identified for two reasons: she was off the grid and her fingerprints had been sanded off.

GC: SOUNDS L1K3 SH3 W4S ON SW33T JUJU

GC: SO S3V3R4L P3OPL3 W3R3 K1LL3D BUT NON3 OF TH3 LOC4LS KN3W 4NYTH1NG?

TT: The police interrogated as many people as possible but none of the locals knew anything and no one step forward. At some point the Quebecian police reported to having an informant but when this was publicized, said informant was found dead in their apartment of carbon monoxide poisoning. A second informant was not publicized but well known around the station. They later died of what appeared to be an allergic reaction to their heart medication. The detective on the case also later died of what appeared to be a heart attack but not before uncovering some information about the identity of the girl.

GC: HOW D1D TH3Y 4CH13V3 TH4T :?

TT: A lot of police work and bribery I suspect.

TT: The girl was New Egyptian which means she couldn’t have come all the way to Quebecia without a support system. New Egypt is strict on their immigration policy so the detective contacted their government to see if any reports of missing families showed up in their police reports. The girl’s face was positively ID’d as belonging to a family that disagreed with the current political party of New Egypt. They fled the country on a barge and arrived in Quebecia along with other immigrants. The illegal immigration trade is largely funded by organized crime groups.

GC: SO 1N 3XCH4NG3 FOR B31NG MOV3D OUT OF N3W 3GYPT H3R F4M1LY 4ND H3RS3LF MUST H4V3 B33N CONSCR1PT3D TO DO SOM3 WORK FOR 4 G4NG SUCH 4S COUNT3RF31T1NG OR DRUG M4NUF4CTUR1NG

GC: BUT SOM3TH1NG W3NT WRONG M4YB3 TH3 P3OPL3 GOT T1R3D OF B31NG WORK3D SO H4RD OR W4NT3D TO L34V3 4FT3R 4LL TH3Y C4M3 TO QU3B3C14 TO *3SC4P3* OPPR3SS1ON NOT B3COM3 4 P4RT OF 4NOTH3R BRUT4L SYST3M

GC: SO TH3Y W3R3 CUT UP 4ND MOV3D 3LS3WH3R3

GC: BUT WH3R3 W4S TH3 SW34TSHOP?

TT: Not sure. There was no evidence of anyone staying in the industrial park near the river. It was theorized that the sweatshop was in an adjacent river as the river under Leland’s Pass leads into one of the major Quebecia river.

GC: WH4T 4BOUT SOM3ON3S HOUS3?

TT: Someone’s house?

GC: OH HO! NOW 1TS TH3 1NV3ST1G4TORS KNOWL3DG3 CROPP1NG UP

GC: MOST SW34TSHOPS 4R3 NOT 1N 4CTU4L SHOPS SOM3T1M3S TH3Y 4R3 1N 4N 1MM1GR4NT HOM3S TH1S 1S TO 4VO1D 4TTR4CT1NG SUSP1C1ON

GC: 1N MOST SW34TSHOPS TH3 OWN3R OF S41D SHOP L1V3S UPST41RS 4ND TH3 WORK3RS WORK DOWNST41RS SOM3T1M3S TH3YLL B3 CR4MM3D 1NTO T1GHT 4R34S L1K3 4 L1V1NG ROOM 4 G4R4G3 OR 4 ST41RW3LL M4K1NG SHO3S 4ND CLOTH3S

GC: 1TS POSS1BL3 TH3 BUTCH3R1NG H4PP3N3D 1N ON3 OF TH3 N34RBY HOUS3S

TT: That…

TT: That is something I didn’t even consider. Maybe because the case had been closed for so long. I’m sure if anyone tried to investigate now, the people involved have either died or moved on. 

GC: ST1LL 1TS 4 CLU3 BUT WH4T L1NKS TH1S C4S3 TO TH3 CH3RUBS?

TT: The face paint the girl was wearing is the emblem of the Cherubs.

GC: F4C3 P41NT :?

TT: Let me show you.

 

\--timaeusTestified[TT] sent cherubemblem.jpg! to gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

GC: 4 GR33N SKULL?

TT: Yes. It is the symbol of the Cherubs.

GC: DO3S 1T H4V3 4 P4RT1CUL4R M34N1NG?

TT: Possibly but so far nothing has been confirmed.

TT: One theory is that it comes from the traditional Alternian concept for cherubs. In ancient Alternian mythology, cherubs are the most powerful kind of angel. The gods have no control over them. They are neutral in their wars of Chaos against Order. The closest equivalent in modern culture would be that of a cross between the fallen angels or the Watchers.

TT: Throughout the multiverse and paradoxspace, there are simply two cherubs. There will always be just two cherubs. Alpha and omega. Good and evil. Despair and hope. Space and time. The two cherubs are muscular giants with skull faces and wings who have the ability to transform into infinitely long serpents when mating and are powerful enough to obliterate whole worlds and universes.

TT: Cherubs are a fearsome thing in Alternian mythology. So fearsome than the Orthodoxian church left them out of their own mythos. In traditional Alternian mythology, an angel is a creature to fear, even more so than a demon.

GC: BUT WHY BR1GHT GR33N?

TT: That I don’t know. Its speculated that this story of cherubs may tie into ancient troll memories of limebloods, the hemotype that has been extinct since prehistoric times. If the ancient limebloods were giants compared to the average troll, then legends of them may have been passed down to become ‘cherubs’, as with ancient human giants and Nephilim.

GC: 4ND WH4TS TH3 S3COND M34N1NG?

TT: Do you know of the book Obluda?

GC: NO

TT: Obluda is a popular children’s book in Young Britain. The story it tells is traced back to origin on Old Earth in the ancient Czech Republic but the actual picture book was published in Young Britain by an aristocrat named Izrail English, the current owner of the NEBio corporation. Anything that happens in NEBio is under the direct control of Lord English.

GC: 1F H3 OWNS N3B1O HOW COM3 1’V3 N3V3R H34RD 4BOUT H1M OR S33N H1M?

TT: Lord English is a recluse. He was born in the Third Age and took part in the Great War, where he was injured in the line of duty. In order to survive, he was heavily cyberized. Because of his frightening appearance, he does not make public appearances. NEBio is in his family’s line but he prefers other relatives as delegates for most of the business.

GC: W41T H3 W4S BORN 1N TH3 TH1RD 4G3 4ND H3’S *ST1LL* 4L1V3 4ND 4CT1V3?

TT: Yes.

GC: TH4T WOULD PUT H1M 1N H1S N1N3T13S

TT: According to what little there is available concerning the Lord English, 90% of his body is cybernetic, which includes internal organs. People cyberized over 70% don’t age naturally. He can live at least another ten to twenty years.

 

 

GC: SO 1F H3 OWNS N3B1O TH3N H3 4LSO OWNS TH3 4M3THYST 1NST1TUT3 LUT3COR3 H4S T13S W1TH TH3 BROTH3RHOOD OWNS TH3 M3RRY M33T M41D S3RV1C3S TH4T TR4P TROLLS FOR SL4V3RY 4ND OWNS P4RTS OF TH3 C4LOR13 COMP4N13S TH4T M4K3 3CTOB1OLOG1C4LLY D3R1V3D S33DS FOR CROPS

TT: I did some digging. Lutecore was not originally owned by NEBio but was its own separate company for years. Lord English initiated a hostile takeover after the disappearance of Lutecore’s founder, a Lord Hussie. It was believed Lord English was connected to Lord Hussie’s murder but no evidence could be found.

GC: SO H3’S 4 POSS1BL3 MURD3R3R TOO BUT WH4T DO3S TH1S H4V3 TO DO W1TH OBLUD4?

TT: When Lord English was young, he ignored the Young British tradition of becoming a board member in the family business and drummed up his own income by using his plentiful allowance to invest in a publishing company that would produce graphic novels and children’s books. One of the stories he penned was Obluda or ‘The Nameless Monster’ as it is often translated. Around the time Obluda was written, Lord English began travelling abroad to different countries like Brazilitim and Germanium. Here he would adopt leprechaun and mutated troll children.

GC: MUT4T3D TROLLS? L1K3 MUT4NTBLOODS?

TT: No, as in mutated by radiation. The radioactivity of Germanium has a different affect on troll bodies. Some particularly radioactive areas produced hairless or bald albino trolls. Many of them are mentally regressive and unable to function in regular society, so they are abandoned to the radioactive wilderness. Over time, they become feral, cannibalistic and big enough to take on the giant wolves of the Germanium wilderness.

GC: SO TH3YR3 H1S P3RSON4L1Z3D 4TT4CK DOGS

TT: Yes. English would adopt feral trolls and train them to be bodyguards. No one would break into the English home for fear of dealing with them. Even the ones who were not large are still dangerous. Who knew what kind of mental aberrations the radiation could do to a troll’s mind.

TT: The reason why Obluda is connected to the Cherubs is that the nameless monster mentioned in the story is illustrated in a particular way: an unknown bright green impish creature with large eyes and a skull face. For unknown reasons, later editions of the book changed this depiction to another animal.

GC: SO TH3 SYMBOL OF TH3 CH3RUBS M4Y COM3 FROM TH3 BOOK OBLUD4

TT: The story mentioned in Obluda also depicts the Cherubs  

TT: The monster in Obluda is nameless. It splits into two and goes through the world consuming people and taking on their identities. The Cherubs pride themselves on hiding in plain sight and having their own confederacies. They can be anywhere and that’s what makes them so hard to catch.

GC: TH3 MOST SUCC3SSFUL CR1M3S 4R3 TH3 UNTR4C34BL3 ON3S

TT: Exactly.

GC: SO

GC: W3 4R3 D34L1NG W1TH 4 L4RG3 G4NG WHO COULD B3 4NYWH3R3 4ND H4V3 1MM3NS3 R3SOURC3S BUT 34CH OF TH3M 4R3 W1TH1N TH31R OWN CONF3D3R4CY 4ND WON’T R3C31V3 H3LP FROM OTH3R F4CT1ONS

GC: TH3 R34SON WHY SCR4T3 H4SNT C4LL3D 1N OUTS1D3 H3LP 1S TH4T 1T WOULD B3 LOS1NG F4C3 TH3 CH3RUBS W4NT TO DO TH1NGS QU13TLY TO L3T 4NYON3 3LS3 KNOW 4BOUT TH1S S1TU4T1ON WOULD M4K3 H1M 4 L4UGH1NGSTOCK 4MONGST TH3 OTH3R CONF3D3R4C13S

TT: Exactly, so we just have to hold out long enough until a truce is called or its obvious we’re not worth the time.

GC: NO TRUC3S

TT: Why? A truce would not endanger anyone. It would protect your family and others.

GC: YOU JUST TOLD M3 TH3 R34SON WHY D1RK

GC: TH3S3 4R3 TH3 S4M3 K1ND OF P3OPL3 TH4T CUT UP THOS3 WHO DON’T 4GR33 W1TH TH3M 4ND DRUG P3OPL3 TH3Y FUCK TH3Y US3 F34R 4ND V1OL3NC3 TO G3T WH4T TH3Y W4NT 1N SOM3 W4Y TH3Y 4R3 T3RROR1STS

GC: YOU C4N’T US3 R3GUL4R P34C3 K33P1NG T4CT1CS ON TH3S3 K1NDS OF P3OPL3

GC: 1 TH1NK W3 BOTH KNOW TH4T

TT: I do. I was wondering how you would feel about it though, being a mother and all.

GC: JUST B3C4US3 1 H4V3 OFFSPR1NG DO3SN’T M34N 1’M GO1NG TO ROLL OV3R!

GC: 1 WOULD B3 TH3 F1RST TO SM4SH MY 3GGS 1F 1 KN3W TH3 CH3RUBS W3R3 GO1NG TO T4K3 TH3M >:[

GC: 1M SUR3 K4NKR1 H4S TOLD YOU TH4T 1 3NJOY ORCH3STR4T1NG TH3 D3M1S3 OF TH3 W1CK3D

GC: W3LL TH1S 1S MY CH4NC3

TT: There’s no guarantee they will attack.

GC: TH3Y W1LL

GC: 1T M4Y NOT B3 4 FULL SC4L3 W4R BUT 1T W1LL B3 *SOM3TH1NG* 4ND 1 4M R34DY FOR CONFL1CT

GC: 1’M 4 TROLL 4FT3R 4LL! >:]

TT: This isn’t Alternia, Terezi. You weren’t born to be a soldier in the Condesce’s army or hunt down criminals in her name.

GC: TH4T M4Y B3 TRU3 BUT W3 C4N ST1LL FORM OUR OWN M1L1T14 NO ON3 3LS3 1N TH3 C1TY 1S GO1NG TO LOOK OUT FOR US

GC: K4RK4T 4ND TH3 OTH3RS 4R3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT M4K1NG W34PONS 4ND LOOK1NG FOR 4 S4F3 HOUS3 W1LL YOU B3 4 P4RT OF TH4T CONV3RS4T1ON?

TT: Fine but we’re using a more secure line.

GC: OUR L1N3S 4R3 S3CUR3! >:[

GC: 1 M34N MY BROTH3R M4K3S SUR3 OF 1T OR 1 W1LL DROPK1CK H1M

TT: Nice to see that Sollux is putting his talents to use and the same with Roxy.

TT: We’ll talk later then.

GC: 4LR1GHT! >:]

 

\--timaeusTestified[TT] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

The power flickers again. It stays off for another minute and then comes right back on. Its not even raining outside and the pain is acting up anyways. You’re starting to wonder if its not so much the stormy august weather as it is the neighborhood transformer acting up. Even John is experiencing the occasional blackout.

You inch away from Kankri, who is still asleep, and go to the eggs. They’re still the same. They usually don’t start moving on their own until its close to hatching. You’re going to have to put them somewhere safe in case you have to move quickly but you’re not sure what. You look at your backpack and consider carrying them in one of the compartments but what if you fall?

Kankri stumbles in the room, scrubbing his eyes.  “I feel asleep again, didn’t I…?”

“You were exhausted.”

Kankri scowls and settles into the nest with you. He sits behind you and hugs you close. “I’m sorry. I should be spending more time with you but I just come home and go to sleep.”

“Its not that big of a deal to me, Kankri. I’m just happy you’re around. Back home, Mom would be working all the time and Dad would be…well, himself.”

You still don’t know about your mother’s condition. Part of the reason you started talking to Eridan was for him to keep an eye on her. So far your mother hasn’t budged on the issue of seeing a doctor and spends most of her time sleeping.

“I just worry about not being attentive.” Kankri fusses, “About failing you or the kids and being a bad f-flush—”

You roll your eyes and pull him close. Before he can ask you what you’re doing, you lick the side of his face. You get a polychromatic splash of his emotions and niggling feelings. Waxy dark orange hues of anxiety and magenta mingled red of affection. Grey and white scribbles of depression.

Kankri snickers and gently pushes you away. “Why did you do that? You already know what my face looks like.”

“I did that to remind you that you’re mine,” you say, “and I’m yours.”

Kankri gives you a strained smile but the grey and white scribbles squirm. He still doesn’t trust positive feelings. “I never understood the functions of your ‘sight’. What do I smell like? Can you tell I’m a troll or just a walking mound of anxiety and depression?”

“Yes, your anxiety and depression is rather strong.” You admit and wonder if Kankri should consider medication along with therapy. “Though I saw you when I was younger so I have an idea of what you look like now.” She smiles. “Handsome.”

“Oh, yes. That’s right. You could see then.” He laughs uncomfortably.

“Everybody forgets I wasn’t born blind.”

Your iHusk vibrates so you lick the screen and grin at the results.

 

\-- caligulasAquarium[CA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator[GC]! --

 

CA: holy shit i think i found it

GC: R34LLY?

CA: hold on let me take a pic

 

\--caligulasAquarium[CA] sent isthisit.jpg to gallowsCalibrator[GC]!--

 

You open the picture and lick the screen.

 

GC: SUCC3SS!!

CA: huh thought id be bigger

GC: BR1NG 1T OV3R!!

CA: noww?

GC: Y3S NOW!!

CA: alright hold on

 

You climb off the nest and rush to the door. Kankri follows you. “What’s going on?”

“Eridan found it!” you reply.

“Found what?” he mutters.

“You’ll see!”

You go out front and wait on the steps for Eridan. You smell him coming your way and see Eridan’s wearing a skirt with legwarmers that match this time. Looks like Kanaya’s been trying to correct his fashion sense in subtle ways.

He walks over and hands you the box. “Its lighter than I thought too.”

You smile. “What’s inside doesn’t weigh a lot.”

Kankri looks over your shoulder. “What is that?”

“You’ll see!” You can’t help but giggle since you’re so excited.

Eridan leaves and you scamper back inside the house. Kankri shuts the door behind you and you don’t need your sense to know he’s looking at you like you’ve come unhinged in the last few minutes.

You place the box on the coffee table and kneel before it. Its surface is dusty but the dark wood is still smooth and lacks scratches. You find a latch and unlock it. You expected the inside to smell musty but your grandmother’s scent wafts to you. You reach inside the velvet and catch a whiff of its color.

“ _Red_.” You say, grinning.

It seems like the cloth wasn’t dyed in your grandmother’s blood like you thought it would be. Your fingertips hit a hard surface and you grab it, pulling it out slowly. You pull out a cane that is roughly two feet long. Its carved from a jointed troll arm bone, impossibly hard with petrifaction. On the top is a dragon head, carved from troll horn and dyed. You feel a seam in the center and twist it. The two pieces slide apart, revealing two swords. You press your thumb against it and see they’re still sharp.

 

 

“Is that…” Kankri’s voice sounds awed. “…Redglare’s _cane?_ ”

You twirl the sword around but it clatters on the floor when you fail to catch it. You’re definitely going to have to practice with it. “Yup! And it’s still sharp. Have to practice using it though.”

“Practice?” Kankri’s heartbeat picks up. “Terezi, don’t tell me you’re planning on _fighting_ those nutjobs?”

You look at him. “Do you expect me to run and hide?”

“No, but I don’t want you hurt. I couldn’t go on if you died.”

“And I couldn’t go on if _you_ died,” you say, “but I’m a troll too. I’d rather protect my family from harm than cower.”

“But…” His voice lowers. “I’m supposed to protect _you_. You’ve helped me so much a-and I’ve done nothing back. I’ve contributed nothing to you, Terezi…”

You hear the genuine concern in his voice and you remember that this is a person whose never experienced unconditional love, red or otherwise. You hug him because you know he can’t help it.

“Kankri, flush isn’t making sure you exchange equal favors. This is a relationship, not the stock market.” You say, “You’ve come a long way from where you were and I’m happy you’ve stayed on that path. You will always be my favorite shade of red.”

The heat rises in his face. “Good to know you won’t leave me for a bright red dragon.”

“I didn’t say _that_.” but you’re grinning.

He kisses you, running his fingers through your hair. “You’re right though. It’d be wrong for me to push you aside. We’ll…get through this.”

His voice isn’t steady though. He’s afraid and so are you. You hold your matesprit close and feel his red heat, listen to his pounding heart. He’s older but needs your protection more than he realizes. You’re not going to let anyone hurt him, or your children. Not while you’re around.


End file.
